Elon Musk, in a Stroke of Unprecedented Genius,
Discovers Government Waste Exists—Just Like Obama Did, But Somehow It’s Worse Now
In a shocking revelation that’s totally never occurred to anyone before, Elon Musk—visionary, part-time meme lord, and self-appointed Savior of Bureaucracy—has brilliantly unearthed the concept of government waste. How? By heroically reposting a 2011 video of Barack Obama doing… checks notes… the exact same thing.
Musk, ever the pioneer, took to his Very Serious Social Media Platform (™) to share footage of Obama announcing the “Campaign to Cut Waste,” a radical initiative to, uh, stop spending taxpayer money on nonsense. “Sounds exactly like DOGE,” Musk declared, as if he’d just cracked the Da Vinci Code and not Googled “Obama wasting money” during a 3 a.m. Twitter spiral.
The clip features Obama—a man famously known for his love of spreadsheets and efficiency—joking that he’d put Joe Biden in charge because “nobody messes with Joe.” (Spoiler: The government kept messing with Joe anyway.) Obama’s examples of “stupid spending” included funding a website for a folk band called the “Fiddlin’ Foresters” (because nothing screams fiscal emergency like a ranger quartet’s MP3s) and owning an empty Brooklyn warehouse for a decade (perfect for storing all of Washington’s unused common sense).
But here’s where it gets truly baffling: When Obama did it, it was a “bold step toward accountability.” When Musk rebrands the same idea as “DOGE” (because naming things after dog memes = innovation), suddenly it’s “dangerous” and “dumb.” Why the hate? Simple: Musk haters are clearly too blinded by his aura of rocket fumes and crypto-bro charisma to grasp the sheer originality of… copying a 13-year-old policy.
Obama’s 2011 speech, transcribed for posterity:
“We should cut waste, like this folk music website. Also, empty buildings! Government bad! Families budget, so should we! Joe Biden will fix it because he’s scary!”
Biden then vowed to instill a “new culture” of transparency, presumably while the Fiddlin’ Foresters wept into their taxpayer-funded fiddles. Fast-forward to today, and Musk’s DOGE is somehow both “a dystopian overreach” and “too stupid to work”—even though it’s literally Obama’s PowerPoint with a Shiba Inu sticker on it.
The lesson here? If you’re a former president, identifying waste makes you a pragmatic leader. If you’re a billionaire who posts “🔥💩” unironically, it makes you a clown. Truly, the hive mind of Musk critics has reached galaxy-brain levels of logic: “Government efficiency? TERRIBLE IDEA… unless it’s from a guy who also did drone strikes. Then it’s fine.”
In conclusion, let us marvel at the irony: The same people who once clapped for Obama’s empty warehouse crusade are now clutching their pearls because Musk said “DOGE” instead of “Cut Waste.” Progress!